- To
- Anyone currently trying to stop procrastinating
- From
- Keith, fourth floor
- Printed
- Tray 2, single-sided
- Re
- Trying to stop procrastinating
What to do instead of trying to stop procrastinating
Half the office prints articles about procrastination and leaves them in my tray. I've read them all. They're very good. It isn't laziness. It's a feeling about the task. You're on a page about avoiding things. I won't tell HR.
Five alternatives, in order of escalation. I printed them single-sided, as instructed. Work down from the top. Number five was HR's idea.
Five approved alternatives
- USEFUL-ISHDraft a procrastination-busting schedule and spend the morning formatting its headings.
- RABBIT HOLELook up the Zeigarnik effect and why unfinished tasks nag at the mind.
- TANGENTAlphabetise your bookmarks by how guilty each one makes you feel.…because avoidance, filed neatly.
- NEW LIFEBecome a deadline-extension clerk at a tiny bureau where 'later' is the official stamp.…because tomorrow is the policy.
- FULL ABSURDITYEnrol the cat as your accountability partner and report to it hourly in a stern voice.…because it also does nothing.
P.S. I've watched people print one page 'just to get started' and come back for the whole report. It works.
Also avoiding
- Instead of starting a dietRead every label in the cupboard and rank the biscuits by how much they have to answer for.
- Instead of making a to-do listSharpen three pencils to a uniform point, then hunt for a notebook worthy of them.
- Instead of going to the gymLay out your gym kit, admire it and fold it back up.
- Instead of going for a runCharge the running watch. Fully. Watch the percentage.